Time Flies When You’re Being Choked

The last time you tuned in, I had just pulled my tongue from the mustached mouth of the Iron Sheik. But that was nearly three months ago. Don’t worry, my I’ll never wash my mouth again promise only lasted for a couple of hours. So what, pray tell, has been warding away fits of boredom since then? Why, violence, of course.

If idle hands are the Devil’s playthings, then beware the unholy devastation created when mine are kept busy with a sledgehammer. On the domestic front, I’ve spent the last few weeks ripping apart my bathroom.

But even girl a like me needs a break from her trusty tool belt now and again. And there is no better way to get away from the dust and debris of a bathroom remodel than a good ‘ol horror movie convention!

Last weekend, I doubt my feet ever even touched the ground as I floated on a cloud of joy, geeking out among the horror movies stars of my dreams nightmares: Kane Hodder, Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Tony Todd, Tony Moran, Ari Lehman and, the pièce de résistance, horror movie star and wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper!

One truly has not experienced life until one has escaped a good strong choking by the one and only Kane Hodder...I'm never washing my neck again, I swear!